Five Months Sober

Pros:

• Your decisions are always yours and you are aware and in control of them.

• You feel better about yourself all around.

• You never have to second guess what happened or what you did.

• Your body and skin improves. 

I wanted to be in the best shape of my life for 2020. Mentally, physically, and emotionally. I say that every year actually. It never happens. I make some progress, but I never feel like I gave it my all. Not until this year 2020. I finally felt like I gave it more than any other year in my life.

I got lucky you could say in a weird sort of way. I had no choice but to slow down. It’s not something I’m good at.

I learned to focus on 2-3 things at a time, not 72. I picked working out, learning Spanish, write a memior and publish it. Which I did here:😁 .https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08BX42Q1M/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_t1_TUQ-EbN1JXEMR I decided the best way to do that was to not drink any alcohol. I know, boring.

I accomplished 2 out of 3. I need some work on my Spanish. What I have realized since then is I totally know why I drank. I know what triggered my binge drinking which led to blacking out, arrests, and creepy assholes trying to hook up with me while I’m half passed out and don’t even know my name. Which is all in my memoir. 🤮

Public Service Announcement: If a girl never treats you like she is interested in you more than a friend, why would you think so now? She was just so shy after all these years? She really was just hiding how much she wanted you? Give me a break you scumbags. Boys will be boys is what people like to say. Teach your “boys”  to be better. 

Guys, if a girl never acts like she likes you in more than a friend way sober with zero drinks in her, believe her. She doesn’t like you in that way. Leave her the f*ck alone unless she tells you otherwise sober.

Cons:

I learned that being sober didn’t cure my anxiety. It actually made it just as bad, but for no reason. Maybe even worse. I learned alcohol gave me way more patience with people and made me like them more than I do when I’m sober.

Pros:

I learned how to deal with it without self-medicating. I learned how to feel my shitty emotions, not cover them up with a temporary fix.

I haven’t hated myself because of alcohol in five months today. That doesn’t mean I haven’t been stressed and questioned what am I going to do with myself. The last few months have not been the best even without alcohol, but luckily I know this is just another bump in the road until I get to where I belong.

I know that if I could keep it together when the entire world was a mess without getting wasted, I hopefully can do the same with whatever is next for me. I hope we all do in these uncertain times. ✌ ❤ 😒

It’s been a while since I ranted. I’m just warming up. I think I got a 10 Years Single Blog in me to write soon.🤔

I worked hard to look like that cover picture. Every day some months I didn’t miss my workout.  It doesn’t get any easier as you get older either! I love bread, pasta, cheese, and ice cream. So damn right after all those crunches and no martinis 🍸 to deal with you humans I’m posting it! 🥂

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